Living in a gated community comes with many advantages, but holding tight to your privacy may not always be to your benefit, says Omar Kinnear.  In fact, there is much to be gained from stepping out and meeting your neighbours.

For all that people living in gated communities have plenty of opportunities to meet and, perhaps, socialise with fellow residents, it is true that many residents hold tight to their privacy and tend to isolate themselves behind their walls.  But does this undermine a spirit of neighbourliness that inspires a generally happy and supportive community?  Omar Kinnear, developer of ResidentPortal, a web-based information and communications platform in many community schemes, believes it can.

“We all know the saying, Good fences make good neighbours, best-remembered from Robert Frost’s poem ‘Mending Wall’,” says Kinnear.

“In fact, though, it was first used in 1640, when E. Rogers wrote a letter containing the words: ‘A good fence helps to keep peace between neighbours; but let us take heed that we make not a high stone wall, to keep us from meeting.’ ”

Kinnear believes it’s that last piece of wisdom that speaks to the idea that a good fence doesn’t necessarily make good neighbours.

“Meeting your neighbours and developing a mutually cooperative relationship with them can have many advantages,” he says.  “That’s not to say you have to live in each others’ pockets, but rather, getting to know your neighbours opens the door to a mutually supportive relationship when help is needed. .  It boils down to neighbourliness, a quality that stands any community in good stead.”

How to cultivate neighbourliness in your estate

Kinnear shares some ideas on how anyone can show neighbourliness in their estate, gleaned from a blog he came across while pondering whether it is true that good fences always make good neighbours:

Get to know the people around you. Knowing that Susan in number 45 bakes delicious cakes may be a lifesaver when you’ve planned your kid’s birthday party and remember the night before the big event that you forgot to order the birthday cake!

• Lead by example.  If there are neighbourhood issues – like waste for instance – get a group of residents together and form a cleaning squad.
• Get active. Many people would love to work out but they don’t have someone to motivate them. Or perhaps there are kids that get left out of sporting activities at school. This is a great opportunity to start a community activity. Arrange exercise classes like yoga or a bootcamp. If there’s space then get the kids to join in a rugby game or soccer match on Saturdays.
• Look after them. Often your community becomes your family and family takes time to help each other out. Even if you aren’t family, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t help your neighbours. Remember when you and your spouse brought home your new-born baby and the women in your street got together to make you a few meals for the first week so you don’t have to cook? Pay it forward! Help the elderly gentleman across the road to put up new cupboards or the people next-door who need a pet sitter while they are away on holiday.
• Support them. Do you know that Mike two houses down lost his job recently and is now doing carpentry from home to earn an income and look after his family? Help him out by referring people to him, perhaps go with him to a market day and help him sell his products because you are more of a smooth-talker than he is.
• Be considerate. There will be a time when you will want to host a party at your house, and you just know it’s going to be a bit noisy. Give those living around you a heads-up that you are hosting and it may be a little loud. You could even invite them over for the party.

Kinnear concludes:  “Staying behind your fence closes you off from the many benefits that come with being neighbourly. In addition to those mentioned above, studies show that social connections are associated with good mental and physical health – so my advice would be keep the fence, but remember to step beyond it, too.”

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